i hope you both read thiiiis

i just read all of your recent blogs. both of you. and then i started crying.. hard. i couldnt help it, i got this overwhelming sadness all of a sudden. you two are so important to me.. i cant even explain how important. and i guess everything you two have been going through this past year just now hit me.

its like im getting a tiny taste of how depressed youve been. i just wish you could have let me help. i wish i couldve been there. but maybe its good i wasnt. its something you have to get through on your own. either way i really hope it ends soon, not for my sake, i can wait as long as it takes. but for yours. when we were little, neither of us would have imagined it turning out this way. dropping out of school, depression, months without seeing eachother, endless blocking and adding again on facebook bullshit. after all of those years of friendship which few people get to experience. ridiculous.

i bet its weird having two people in your life who are connnstantly trying to make you apart of theirs again and again and again. sure, we used to be friends, and sure you two were in love. but i cant even begin to imagine how you actually feel about us. do we seem obsessed? ive definitely questioned that, at least for me. am i? whatever it is, i just hope you figure out how you feel soon. because i want all of this to end, and stay that way.

if i could ask for one thing this year, it would be to not have to read anymore sad blogs. no more sad stories about unmutual feelings, unresolved friendship. i want us three to be happy. not just for a month. this rollercoaster has been going for way too long. when it stops, we're all for sure gonna throw up but then we'll feel so much fucking better.

i really do think its going to stop soon. until then ill just wish at every 11:11 that it does..